How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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