I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
