i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
