i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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