Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize