i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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