You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
