About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
