Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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