I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
