I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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