Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm too high and old for this...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
