wakey wakey hands off snakey
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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