You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
