you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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