I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
