Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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