So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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