I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
