Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
