FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
