We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
