You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My vagina is officially offended.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
