Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
