So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
