i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We have started to decorate penises.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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