This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude i'm inner monologue high
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
