I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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