So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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