I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
