Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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