i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
