i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize