The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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