I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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