yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
