dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
