is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
