Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
