i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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