Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think i have two assholes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
