We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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