if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
