You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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