Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
