I need to stop coming to work sober
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
