omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
