He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry about my life...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize