ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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