you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
