You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
