Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
