i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
