glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
