A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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