I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
