i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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