Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
