My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
