Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
