I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
