I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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