last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
