On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
