windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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